Dirk D.
Sex, in its many realms and forms, has become an uninhibited act of freedom and expression. With quite literally no limits, endless possibilities, and sensations that people never imagined possible, it would seem that advice in the sex world would be futile. But, luckily, I’ve compiled ten tips that are tried and tested from a panel of experts, lay people, and virgins. These tips, as anything else, are up for interpretation and should be used as guidelines to aid in your sexually active lifestyle.
And they are up for debate, while we stand behind our work it is important to keep in mind everyone has a unique situation where maybe not all ten tips apply; so feel free to pick apart and dissect as needed. As long as you’re thinking and reading, that’s what counts. Here’s to the many pleasures you’ll only experience in your twenties, and the ten ways you can help reach those experiences. Enjoy.
1. It works for exams, your job and sports. Why not everywhere else in life? You’ve heard it time and time again. Relax. Slow down. Take your time. Be cool. Number one tip.
2. Safety is sexy. Best be prepared. Have protection (and lube) on deck. Why chance it? Whatever relationship realm you’re in, it can’t hurt. The number two complaint about using protection is it kills the moment, number one being it “doesn’t feel as good”, but why not make it a part of the moment? Make whatever method you use look sexy.
3. Set your priorities. Sometimes life gets in the way of love. Everyone likes the physical aspect, but keep yourself in check. If you got 99 problems, don’t add another. Honestly, honesty is the best policy and if you’re running your jibs about feelings, or holding your tongue about them, I suggest you let them fly. If you’re only into whatever for the physical, let that person know. Best-case scenario is the person you’re creeping with will be down for that too, and worst-case scenario is they cut it off. Which can’t be that bad, considering you cold as ice anyway, right? If you’re into that person for emotional stability, tell them. If they’re not feelin’ that tip then peace the scene. What is the point in being with someone that isn’t interested in you at the same level?
4. Risky Business. Don’t be afraid to make the first move or the last. Insecurity is a killer. If you are confident, or even pretending to be, it will be, one, easier to follow tip 3 if you choose to, and two you’re going to see the outcome of an otherwise unpredictable situation. Take a risk and gauge the results. Unless you’re between the sheets, then follow tip two on being safe. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take other risks within. And if the results aren’t in your favour, you can be proud you stepped out of that comfort zone and extended your personal boundaries. The more risks you take, the more you can shape your likes and dislikes. Besides, chances are a risk you take will turn into a good story one way or another, which is always a good way to entertain a crowd, because you never know who will be listening.
5. What sucks in life? Repeats. Some things never get old, true, but damn, mix it up. Variety is clutch. If you’ve perfected one routine, why not work another and expand your sexual skill set? The lists of positions are limitless and are good for fast recall; especially if you’re varying the location, it’s always a bonus when you can use new elements, like say a shower ledge, to your advantage. Rather than fight with the environment, adapt and make the best of it. Look for those new angles and always play around with leverage. Another plus to variety is longevity. If you’re in a position that tires you out, it’s always good to move to the next– give those muscles a rest and get back to it later. With a volume of positions, you always add to the longevity of your sex life. And each person is different, so if you have a good base knowledge, it’s easier to change positions until the two (or more) of you find something that works.
6. Get naked. Strip down to the bone or as close as comfortable. Being comfortable in your own skin is underrated. Try and just hang out in your underwear or nude until your comfortable being naked around anything. One of the biggest turn-ons for everyone is confidence when you’re naked. Everything else seems so effortless when you’ve only got to worry about discovering someone else and not yourself. And think of it as a metaphor too. Let your vulnerabilities show and embrace your flaws and highlights because everyone has them, so if you can learn to work with your self-conscience aspects and not hide them they might be easier to overcome. Getting naked physically is a great step to getting naked emotionally or vice versa.
7. Stay active. Self esteem stems from so many areas, but one place they seem to converge is activity. Not only does exercise have rad health benefits, but your sex drive increases too. There is no downside to physical activity. None. Staying active is a great way to put any sexual frustration on hold. All you need is a health magazine and a couple home workout gear like a swiss ball, yoga mat, and some free weights to get started. And if you’re already muscle bound, put that motivation into things that help explicitly in the bedroom like flexibility and cardio. A cramp is a pretty low note to go out on, whether it’s from being inflexible or unfit.
8. Research. Do your homework for once! If you and your partner have a mad hang up, seek resources to solve it. Chances are someone out there has had the same issue you have, and even if not, there is plenty of sex insight in magazines and Internet blogs. Knowledge is power. And it’s sexy. Although some people like it, the majority don’t want to play teacher when getting hot under the collar and yeah, sure, a lot of knowledge comes from experience, but if you can’t get hands on experience, you best be aware of what you’re about to encounter.
9. Stay in the moment. Don’t ask why. If your partner asks you to do the dirtiest kinkiest thing you can imagine, just go for it. One, its nobody’s business what goes on behind closed doors. Two, if your partner asks you to do something, they’re gonna be sure they want it, so just dive in. Three, save the post game breakdown for the end of the game. Take in as much detail in the moment as possible and ask questions later. And four, don’t let those distractions get the better of you. If the candles all of a sudden go out or the hot water runs cold, don’t let it phase you. Adapt and move on. Those intimate moments don’t die because something didn’t go according plan, they just change. As a side note, if you’re in the shower, and the hot water does run out, just turn the shower off. Enjoy the steambath.
10. No means no. If you’re not having fun, it’s not worth doing. Be greedy in the bed, this is a time to celebrate the physical chemistry between you and your partner. If your comfort zone is stretched beyond capacity, call it off. You don’t owe anything to anyone. This isn’t a realm of a relationship where compromise needs to come into play. Great sex happens when there is a mutual desire to please one another, and a lot of time that pleasure results in an unforgettable way. If that mutual desire isn’t there, don’t be afraid to abandon ship. Some days are just off days, and you have every right to deny sexual acts without question or protest. Sex is about as two-way as it gets, and if both parties aren’t feeling satisfied, maybe you should think about closing the party down.