Lyle Morissette
Sports Editor

Despite eventually bowing out in the semi-finals to the Western Mustangs in a tough to swallow 84-58 loss on Saturday night, the ‘Wolves playoff win drought—since 1999—did come to an end earlier in the week when point guard Tasia McKenna and rest of the squad dispatched the visiting Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks in a thrilling game.
McKenna scored 26 points in Wednesday night’s 70-64 home victory, and post Lindsay Druery added 12 points and nine rebounds for the Pack. Unfortunately, both were relentlessly hounded Saturday, and were big nonfactors in the scoring department, severely hindering the ‘Wolves attack and chances against a very tough Western team.
“Obviously we’re disappointed in the result of the game,” said head coach Jon Kreiner. “We never really put ourselves in a position to get any rhythm or flow. Western deserves full marks for their execution offensively and they played great defense on Tasia and Lindsay Druery. “
On the bright side of things, seventh-year head coach Jon Kreiner picked up his first postseason victory with the team after having led them to the playoffs in three of the past four seasons. Nearly all members of the team will return next year.

Lyle Morissette
Sports Editor

It is arguably every athletes dream growing up to be considered one of the best at what they do, an All-Star, no matter what the level they compete at. Modern day sports, with their historical seeds, are competitively driven activities that have grown out of what were the very first Olympic games held by the ancient Greeks. They pitted the best of the best from each city-state against one another in exclusive pursuit of glory for the state; competition was the sole purpose. Albeit, victors were often eternally enshrined with statues of themselves, and lifelong devotion and praise was forever their rewarding prize.
In comparison, modern day sports are commonly played leisurely, but it is arguable that not even sports played for “fun” end without a winner. This goes hand-in-hand with the notion that most people like and chase after recognition, while also craving the rewards.
It can be said that many do play merely for the love of the sport, but it is becoming—in the professional arena—visibly apparent that some athletes strive to make All-Star teams for more than the recognition. These players often go to the extent of playing hurt to pad their stat lines, for the extra exposure, etc, so that they can make the team. Why? Certainly there has to be something more to it than the recognition? There is, but many would rather not admit to it.
As such, and particularly in the four major leagues in North America—NBA, NFL, MLB, NHL—it can be said that the drive for All-Star status may slowly be becoming a pursuit of attaining compensation rather than for recognition. Rewards such as performance bonuses—like making an All-Star team—are now commonly written into contracts. Take for example Julius Peppers (NFL), who recently received a US $1 million bonus just for being named to the NFL’s NFC Pro-Bowl roster; he is surely not alone in that boat.
It does not stop there though. Take for example the NBA whose All-Star’s get paid “bonuses”—as do other leagues–based on the outcome of the actual game; the players on the winning team this year received $35,000, losers took home $15,000, and coaches pocketed $25,000 apiece. It’s as if leagues have to now pony up the green just to give players more incentive to play in something that they should be honoured to be a part of.   Another example entails revisiting the NFL’s All-Star festivities. Its Pro-Bowlers have also—with the exception of this year’s game in Miami—been rewarded with a fully paid trip to Hawaii to play in the post-season game.
Despite these extra incentives, the most unsettling fact is that many athletes are becoming less inclined to actually playing in the game itself at all. Recent reports pegged the pathetic reality that 40% of the players that were named to this year’s Pro-Bowl squads did not even play and were replaced by alternative players, who, without any disrespect for their skill set, were not the true All-Stars. Some that opted out were fined for skipping out, other had “legitimate” injuries, and some simply backed out. Understandably, the Super Bowl participating teams players were exempt. Other leagues also have this problem, but not to the same extent of the NFL. And the most unnerving fact about it all is that despite “missing” the game these “Pro-Bowlers” still received their contractual bonuses.
Yet, to think of a league without an All-Star game would be absurd, for all sides: the league itself, its players, and the fans.  It would take away marketing opportunities (less merchandise sales), its stand out stars would be less identifiable, and those who still care would be deprived of the common goal of being named an All-Star, one of the best in the world. And while not all take it for granted, many don’t take it too seriously anymore. This is a souring reality when most athletes peg an All-Star appearance as being a top pre-season goal. Maybe they should add an asterisk that adds: play in it too. Just a thought!

Lyle Morissette
Sports Editor

The Good
The $1 million trophy: Made of an absurd 33,140 white diamonds, 10,728 black diamonds, and 2.5kg of solid gold, the life-size ball that is known as the Choron Diamond Cup trophy will be awarded to the Russian soccer club whose first and youth teams finish each season with the best combined place in their respective tables (leagues). The football trophy may just be the first of its kind sought after merely for possessive purposes, and overshadowing its significance. With a one-year production time, the trophy is intended to boost interest in Russian soccer both domestically and abroad, and to help attract youth and more star-studded players to the country. As such, it is hard to imagine this “trophy” won’t be stolen at some point in the not-too-distant future.

The Mad
Slix Closer Boxer Briefs: Technically, they are not an athlete, or even directly sports related, but with the company’s signing of JOHN DALY! as an underwear model, they have become almost instantly identifiable the world around. Despite their notoriety, the signing is still quite enigmatic. While Daly may only serve as an endorser, and not a model—pray, people—the deal is still very unusual. How many people do they really think want to wear the same boxers as a man who, to put it kindly, has been a plague to professional sports and everything they represent for the majority of his career. He was an overweight, heavy drinker with numerous personal issues throughout his career. But he did recently lose over 100 pounds—maybe that’s enough. Yet an underwear model/endorser still seems like a stretch with a very, very small niche market.

The Downtrodden
Canadian Olympic Committee (COC): In what was a severe blow to its surprisingly big ego, the COC admitted last week to its oversight and conceded the medal race to the Americans, who eventually owned the podium with their media contrived “Rent the Podium” program. This, of course, is a jab at Canada’s “Own the Podium” program on which they spent $110 million over the past five years. Ottawa provided about half of the funding, and the remainder came from provincial agencies and corporations. The USOC (United States Olympic Committee) spent less than half —$55 million over the past four years—to boost its medal hopes in Vancouver. Clearly, the COC took the “home-field” advantage a tad too seriously. Being hosts does not make the talent any better, or the drive or determination more profound. It takes luck and talent, and, unfortunately, the Canadian team has been sapped of the combination. Put the blame on the COC’s lofty and unrealistic expectations, not the athletes.

This week: Going at it alone… and on foreign terms

It was recently reported that nearly a quarter of the 82 nations competing in the current Vanouver Winter Olympics have only one athletic representative for their entire nation. That’s quite baffling and must be quite a burden for those athletes, as they carry the hopes of an entire nation on their back—think Atlas, but on a smaller scale. One of those athletes is Muhammad Abbas of Pakistan who is competing in, of all things, downhill skiing (giant slalom). Not only is he their sole Olympian, he was also the flagbearer, and Pakistan’s first ever athlete to qualify for the Winter Olympics. Talk about pressure. Going hand-in-hand with many of these athletes is that, quite often, the lone athletes of a particular country are often also transplants from other nations. For example, Tucker Murphy, Bermuda’s first winter Olympian, who was born in the U.S. and educated at Oxford. Ghana’s only entry is Kwame Nkrumah Acheampong – he was born in Scotland. The list goes on. The question that comes next is: Should these athletes really be considered athletes of their adopted country, or of their home nation? It has been bounced around that an athlete should only be able to compete for their “home” nation, the one in which they claim birth. This is certainly an interesting proposition, particularly because many of them choose simply to leave their birth country due to not making its Olympic squad. In effect, they somewhat defect to a “weaker” nation, and adopt it to make its respective Olympic team. Despite this possibility, it should not be overlooked that many countries only grant citizenship—and thus Olympic eligibility—to an individual after they have lived in the country for as few as four years. As such, it seems as though it may not have be a decision made without contemplation and consideration. So really, it all comes down to the question: Should an athlete born in another country really be able to compete for another nation, often as the only entrant representing the entire nation, their adopted nation?

Photo by Cole Breiland

Men’s basketball defeat Waterloo 64-59 to advance to OUA West finals

Lyle Morissette
Sports Editor

When something comes around once every 22 or so years, it should not be taken lightly. Thankfully, the ‘Wolves men’s basketball team did not let the opportunity slip away in winning—and hosting—their first playoff home game since 1988, defeating the Waterloo Warriors 64-59 in their OUA West semi-final matchup.
As they have consistently done all season, the ‘Wolves sparked another thrilling second-half comeback after trailing by 11 points at halftime. With a resilience to be admired, and a Waterloo team with its tail between its legs, LU stormed back, outscoring the visitors by seven in the third quarter and winning the decisive fourth quarter 16-7.
Forward Ryan Thomson kept the ‘Wolves in it in the first half by scoring 17 of his 20 points in the first two quarters, while big-man Yoosrie Salhia took over in the second half by battling his way to a double-double of 13 points and 10 rebounds despite not registering a single point or rebound in the opening 20 minutes. Greg Carter added 11 points with three steals, but more importantly helped cement his reputation as one of the nation’s top defensive players by harassing the Warriors’ leading scorer Cam McIntyre into a porous 1-9 shooting night.
‘Wolves head coach Scott Morrison said the team may have initially been star struck by the importance of the game and the intense crowd.
“I think the environment played a little bit of a role. We were a little star struck, but give the guys credit. They made a living all year on fourth quarter comebacks and we finished off the home season with another one.”
After taking the 58-57 lead on a pull-up jumper by Carter late in the fourth, the ‘Wolves did not look back despite Cam McIntyre’s game-tying free throws with under two minutes left. Those would be Waterloo’s last points on the board though as Salhia sealed the game with the winning basketball on a tough inside finish moments later. The game was officially capped off when guard Jamie Searle finished a broken play with a big layup that sent the sold-out home crowd into a frenzy.
“Waterloo played a strong defensive game in the first half and their experienced players were not affected by the sell-out crowd. We had to really be perfect in the second half with our defensive fundamentals. Credit goes out to both teams for playing playoff basketball tonight and to our guys for hanging in there and taking it one possession at a time in the second half,” said Morrison.
The Thunderwolves now find themselves travelling to Windsor to face the Lancers in the OUA West finals this coming Saturday.

Photo by Cole Breiland

Two straight overtime victories has Wolves on the edge of title recognition

Lyle Morissette
Sports Editor

Two shots was all it took—one on Wednesday, one on Friday—for the Wolves to advance to the OUA West finals. They completed what was an alarming two-game overtime sweep over the Guelph Gryphons in last week’s OUA West semifinal clash.
It may sound simple, just two shots, but the shots delivered the victories. What happened in between was nothing short of exhilarating, as the Wolves won both Wednesday’s contest in Guelph, and Friday’s rematch at Fort William Gardens in overtime. Both games involved a constant barrage of back-and-forth action that surely entertained fans.
Even with the posts working against them—the Wolves hit three posts in the first period alone—and a surprisingly goal-deprived Matt Dias, who finally managed to cash in a hat-trick including the overtime game winner, the Wolves persevered in the series clinching affair on Friday night at the Gardens, winning 5-4.
“I like to see my guys rise to the occasion,” said Wolves head coach Joel Scherban.
Dias was even more relieved with finally tickling the twine in the playoffs and seemingly found solace with his, and the team’s, overall performance.
“A hat trick feels great, and the OT winner feels even better. It just finally felt good to be scoring again,” commented Scherban.
After giving up the lead on Wednesday night, the Wolves found themselves on the other side, having to come back from behind twice in the third period on Friday night to send it into the extra session. The last of the Wolves come-from-behind goals came from Scott Dobben with a mere 62 seconds remaining in the third. Dobben’s goal sent it into overtime where Dias penned the concluding chapter by scoring the eventual winner.
Between the iron posts, ‘Wolves goalie Alex Dupuis cemented yet another win for the team and now has won all four of his playoff appearances and is really starting to blossom at the most opportune of times. Lakehead’s other goal came courtesy of Andy Zulyniak and Matt Caria added three assists.
Wednesday’s series opener played out to almost a mirror result, with a very similar ending: the Wolves conquering in overtime. But instead of winning 5-4, the Wolves edged the Gryphons 4-3. Sespite not only being outshot on the night 34-23, they also dropped the ball in the third period, allowing Guelph to climb back into the saddle and send it into overtime.
Yet, the Wolves were undeterred by giving up a 3-1 third period lead and eventually stole back the game with Andy Hyvarinen’s blast in ovetime. Dan Speer, Ryan McDonald, and Caria added the ‘Wolves three regulation goals, and Dupuis backstopped the Wolves to victory once again.
The ‘Wolves now continue their conquest with an OUA West finals matchup against the Western Mustangs. The first game of the best of three series goes this Wednesday at the Fort William Gardens.

Say hello to Tessa Mendel! If you by any chance made it out to any ‘Wolves women’s volleyball game this past season, she just may be a familiar face. If not, you will soon find out who she is and what she is about—along with a few intangibles. I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with the second-year North Vancouver native and nursing major who plays the libero position for the ‘Wolves. What follows is my attempt to unearth a little something personal about her, while also throwing a few curveball questions her way for this week’s special “Sex Issue.” Without further ado, meet Tessa Mendel…

Question:  Being from North Vancouver, what do you miss most about home?
Tessa: I miss my family and my friends most, and watching the Olympics live. It’s hard for anybody not to get homesick when away from home.
Q:    What gets you motivated before a game?
T:    As a team we sort of get pumped up together by listening to just about anything on our stereo in the change room. Some dancing on occasion also helps too (chuckles).
Q:    Is there something from your childhood that you just refuse to part with?
T:    Disney movies, which are also some my favourites; I love Peter Pan. The Outsiders is also up there, and so is the Beauty and the Beast.
Q:    This season was obviously a tough one record wise. As such, how much did your season-ending series sweep help with the team’s future outlook?
T:    It really helps. We went through a lot of tough times this year and it’s definitely a good way to finish off a season and, in particular, a career for Ashley Baer who is graduating this year.
Q:    Favourite hobbies outside of volleyball?
T:    Running, working out, and watching movies. I’m fairly laid back.
Q:    Volleyball players are often labeled as being quite reticent, especially in comparison to basketball and hockey players, does this have any backing?
T:    Not at all, we are feisty. We can take on any basketball or hockey player.
Q:     Tiger Woods: deserves a second chance or not?
T:     Noooooo!
And in honour of this week’s “Sex Issue”, Tessa was even kind enough to divulge and enlighten the public on a matter of highly debated questions and some other intimate details.
Q;    Favourite aphrodisiac?
T:    Ice Cream…any flavor, I like them all (said without hesitation).
Q:    Sex before a game: performance booster or constraint?
T:    (laughs). Ya sure, whatever helps. If that gets you going…(laughs)
Q:    Role playing in the bedroom (sports related): taboo or acceptable?
T:     …(laughs again). Sure, you have to keep open-minded.
Q:     Nice guys or bad boys?
T:    Probably a mixture; the best of both worlds I guess.
Q:    Kissing on the first date?
T:    I think it depends on different things: the chemistry, situation, how the date’s going. I don’t think I usually would, but you never know…
Q:    And to close out: do you think women’s volleyball shorts are too revealing or “attention grabbing?”
T:     Sometimes our coach (Green) would tell us that, and he even made us buy new shorts on one of our road trips. Sometimes they do ride up and we have to adjust them during the game, which can be an issue. I’ve played with them my entire career, so I think not.

I’m sure that you are all the ultimate in the giving and receiving of sexual pleasure, but wouldn’t it be nice to step it up?
The sex toy industry has rapidly changed and expanded to meet the needs of an increasingly diverse audience. Thankfully, sex toys are no longer just neon phalluses or adorable animals (though no one can deny the popularity of the Rabbit). The new technologies and materials involved in modern sex toys can help deepen the experience of pleasure for single folk, couples, and everyone in between. With so many new options out there, how do you decide which ones are best for you?
There are fantasic resources out there, with consumer reviewed products to give you an idea of what you’re getting into. Venus Envy and Babeland both have awesome websites and stores with all sorts of information about what can get you off longer and harder than ever before. To help this process, here’s a list of more popular sex toys, all for under $100.00 to get you started. A hundred bucks is a lot on a student budget, but toys are definitely not a place to be cheap (especially with phthalates in some of the cheaper models).
For men who are willing to explore the awesome power of the prostate, the Aneros Prostate Stimulator could be the toy you’re looking for. The vibrator is not very long, so it doesn’t have to be inserted very far into the anus and it massages the prostate from the inner wall as well as from a small vibrator on the perrenium (aka the taint). Its a great toy for men and women just exploring anal play.
For straight men, the Orbit Ring Vibe can enhance partner sex by acting like a cock ring and keep an erection stronger and lasting longer, while providing vibrations that stimulate the clitoris. This toy can also be used alone, by moving the vibrator down to the base of the scrotum to massage the balls and taint. The Orbit Ring is reasonably priced for its high functionability.
The Violet Rapture may seem small, but its not the size, its how you use it. This toy is set up to be inserted into the vagina with ticklers for the clitoris and the nus. It has an easy to use remote so that you can control the force of the vibrations. Again, this toy depends on the comfort of the user in terms of anal stimulation, but its small size makes the toy beginner friendly while still providing lots of stimulation. Because it massages three sensitive areas, it can bring about a quick and robust climax.
If I could give one negative review, it would be of the Sasi. Though I don’t have personal experience with the Sasi, all of the people I know who have used it have had problems with it. It is supposed to learn over time what the user enjoys to provide a unique and personal experience. It is shaped like a tongue to simulate oral sex, but because the vibes aren’t strong enough and the initial process of letting it know what you like is time consuming, it is a frustrating toy. As great as it sounds to have a perfect cyborg lover, the Sasi just hasn’t lived up to the hype.
These are just a few examples of the many, many different varieties of sex toys. Finding one that is right for you is a very personal process and the toys listed above aren’t going to help everyone get off. If you want to learn more about sex toys and start learning what could work for you, in a fun, safe environment, the GIC is having a Fantasia party on Wednesday March 3rd at 7pm. It’s going to be a couple friendly, queer friendly, everyone friendly event, so bring some cash and an open mind.

Anthony Marrelli
Argus

Birds do it, bees probably do it – same-sex relationships. Biologists have started to consider evolutionary implications for the animals in question.
“It is clear that same-sex sexual behaviour extends far beyond the well-known examples that dominate both the scientific and popular literature such as bonobos, dolphins, penguins and fruit flies” Nathan Bailey, a researcher in the Department of Biology at UC Riverside, said.
There is a caveat, however. The review also reports same-sex behaviours are not the same across species, and that researchers may be calling qualitatively different phenomena by the same name. For example, male fruit flies may court other males because they are lacking a gene that enables them to discriminate between the sexes.
However, that is very different from male bottlenose dolphins, who engage in same-sex interactions to facilitate group bonding, or the female Laysan Albatross that can remain pair-bonded for life, and cooperatively rear young.  Same-sex behaviour in this species may not be aberrant, but instead can arise as an alternative strategy of reproduction.
Almost a third of Laysan albatross couples are female-female pairs, and they are more successful than unpaired females when it comes to rearing chicks.
Penguins have been known to form long-term same-sex bonds in which males will engage in sexual activity. Toads generally don’t discriminate between sexes, while marine snails all start out male and, when they mate with another male, one of them helpfully changes sex.
Dolphins will often touch their genitals together or one male might even mount another and penetrate its blowhole. Bonobos go the furthest in same-sex bonding with regular copulation among males.
Homosexual behaviours are flexibly deployed in a variety of circumstances: as alternative reproductive tactics, as cooperative breeding strategies, as facilitators of social bonding, or as mediators of intrasexual conflict.
Once this flexibility is established, it becomes a selective force that can drive selection on other aspects of physiology, life history, social behaviour, and even morphology.
New research on same-sex animal behaviour also finds that, although many studies are performed in the context of understanding the evolutionary origins of same-sex sexual behaviour, almost none have considered its evolutionary consequences.
Same-sex behaviours such as courtship, mounting, and parenting are traits that may have been shaped by natural selection.
“Our review of studies also suggests that these same-sex behaviours might act as selective forces in and of themselves,” Bailey said.  A selective force, which is a sudden or gradual stress placed on a population, affects the reproductive success of individuals in the population.
“When we think of selective forces, we tend to think of things like weather, temperature, or geographic features, but we can think of the social circumstances in a population of animals as a selective force, too,” Bailey stated.
Same-sex behaviour radically changes those social circumstances by removing some individuals from the pool of animals available for mating.
Bailey’s work noted that researchers in the field have made significant strides in the past two and a half decades studying the genetic and neural mechanisms that produce same-sex behaviours in individuals, and the ultimate reasons for their existence in populations.
However, like any other behaviour that doesn’t lead directly to reproduction, such as aggression or altruism, same-sex behaviour can have evolutionary consequences that are just now beginning to be considered.
For example, male-male copulations in locusts can be costly for the mounted male, and this cost may in turn increase selection pressure for males’ tendency to release a chemical called panacetylnitrile, which dissuades other males from mounting them.

Sex, in its many realms and forms, has become an uninhibited act of freedom and expression. With quite literally no limits, endless possibilities, and sensations that people never imagined possible, it would seem that advice in the sex world would be futile. But, luckily, I’ve compiled ten tips that are tried and tested from a panel of experts, lay people, and virgins. These tips, as anything else, are up for interpretation and should be used as guidelines to aid in your sexually active lifestyle.
And they are up for debate, while we stand behind our work it is important to keep in mind everyone has a unique situation where maybe not all ten tips apply; so feel free to pick apart and dissect as needed. As long as you’re thinking and reading, that’s what counts. Here’s to the many pleasures you’ll only experience in your twenties, and the ten ways you can help reach those experiences. Enjoy.

1. It works for exams, your job and sports. Why not everywhere else in life? You’ve heard it time and time again. Relax. Slow down. Take your time. Be cool. Number one tip.

2. Safety is sexy. Best be prepared. Have protection (and lube) on deck. Why chance it? Whatever relationship realm you’re in, it can’t hurt. The number two complaint about using protection is it kills the moment, number one being it “doesn’t feel as good”, but why not make it a part of the moment? Make whatever method you use look sexy.

3. Set your priorities. Sometimes life gets in the way of love. Everyone likes the physical aspect, but keep yourself in check. If you got 99 problems, don’t add another. Honestly, honesty is the best policy and if you’re running your jibs about feelings, or holding your tongue about them, I suggest you let them fly. If you’re only into whatever for the physical, let that person know. Best-case scenario is the person you’re creeping with will be down for that too, and worst-case scenario is they cut it off. Which can’t be that bad, considering you cold as ice anyway, right? If you’re into that person for emotional stability, tell them. If they’re not feelin’ that tip then peace the scene. What is the point in being with someone that isn’t interested in you at the same level?

4. Risky Business. Don’t be afraid to make the first move or the last. Insecurity is a killer. If you are confident, or even pretending to be, it will be, one, easier to follow tip 3 if you choose to, and two you’re going to see the outcome of an otherwise unpredictable situation. Take a risk and gauge the results.  Unless you’re between the sheets, then follow tip two on being safe. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take other risks within. And if the results aren’t in your favour, you can be proud you stepped out of that comfort zone and extended your personal boundaries. The more risks you take, the more you can shape your likes and dislikes. Besides, chances are a risk you take will turn into a good story one way or another, which is always a good way to entertain a crowd, because you never know who will be listening.

5. What sucks in life? Repeats. Some things never get old, true, but damn, mix it up. Variety is clutch. If you’ve perfected one routine, why not work another and expand your sexual skill set? The lists of positions are limitless and are good for fast recall; especially if you’re varying the location, it’s always a bonus when you can use new elements, like say a shower ledge, to your advantage. Rather than fight with the environment, adapt and make the best of it. Look for those new angles and always play around with leverage. Another plus to variety is longevity. If you’re in a position that tires you out, it’s always good to move to the next– give those muscles a rest and get back to it later. With a volume of positions, you always add to the longevity of your sex life. And each person is different, so if you have a good base knowledge, it’s easier to change positions until the two (or more) of you find something that works.

6. Get naked. Strip down to the bone or as close as comfortable. Being comfortable in your own skin is underrated. Try and just hang out in your underwear or nude until your comfortable being naked around anything. One of the biggest turn-ons for everyone is confidence when you’re naked. Everything else seems so effortless when you’ve only got to worry about discovering someone else and not yourself. And think of it as a metaphor too. Let your vulnerabilities show and embrace your flaws and highlights because everyone has them, so if you can learn to work with your self-conscience aspects and not hide them they might be easier to overcome. Getting naked physically is a great step to getting naked emotionally or vice versa.

7. Stay active. Self esteem stems from so many areas, but one place they seem to converge is activity. Not only does exercise have rad health benefits, but your sex drive increases too. There is no downside to physical activity. None. Staying active is a great way to put any sexual frustration on hold. All you need is a health magazine and a couple home workout gear like a swiss ball, yoga mat, and some free weights to get started. And if you’re already muscle bound, put that motivation into things that help explicitly in the bedroom like flexibility and cardio. A cramp is a pretty low note to go out on, whether it’s from being inflexible or unfit.

8. Research. Do your homework for once! If you and your partner have a mad hang up, seek resources to solve it. Chances are someone out there has had the same issue you have, and even if not, there is plenty of sex insight in magazines and Internet blogs. Knowledge is power. And it’s sexy. Although some people like it, the majority don’t want to play teacher when getting hot under the collar and yeah, sure, a lot of knowledge comes from experience, but if you can’t get hands on experience, you best be aware of what you’re about to encounter.

9. Stay in the moment. Don’t ask why. If your partner asks you to do the dirtiest kinkiest thing you can imagine, just go for it. One, its nobody’s business what goes on behind closed doors. Two, if your partner asks you to do something, they’re gonna be sure they want it, so just dive in. Three, save the post game breakdown for the end of the game. Take in as much detail in the moment as possible and ask questions later. And four, don’t let those distractions get the better of you. If the candles all of a sudden go out or the hot water runs cold, don’t let it phase you. Adapt and move on. Those intimate moments don’t die because something didn’t go according plan, they just change. As a side note, if you’re in the shower, and the hot water does run out, just turn the shower off. Enjoy the steambath.

10. No means no. If you’re not having fun, it’s not worth doing. Be greedy in the bed, this is a time to celebrate the physical chemistry between you and your partner. If your comfort zone is stretched beyond capacity, call it off. You don’t owe anything to anyone. This isn’t a realm of a relationship where compromise needs to come into play. Great sex happens when there is a mutual desire to please one another, and a lot of time that pleasure results in an unforgettable way. If that mutual desire isn’t there, don’t be afraid to abandon ship. Some days are just off days, and you have every right to deny sexual acts without question or protest. Sex is about as two-way as it gets, and if both parties aren’t feeling satisfied, maybe you should think about closing the party down.