Bizarre, comical, and tear-inducing sports related incidents

Lyle Morissette

Sports Editor

Athletes do stupid things and, consequently, get sidelined, sometimes for mere minutes, sometimes for their careers. While some of these are certified money-in-the-bank hilarious, others should be avoided at all costs—well, all of them really should be avoided.

-NBA rookie Lionel Simmons (1991) once missed games as a result of tendinitis in his right wrist; the cause: playing too much Nintendo GameBoy (the original brick-heavy unit).; Guitar Hero has also been cited for causing sports injuries as well.

-Throwing up can be a hazard; case in point: Tom Glavine (Atlanta Braves) once broke a rib while throwing up an in-flight meal.

-Pitcher Carlos Perez once broke his nose in a car accident; the kicker: he was trying to pass the team bus at the time.

-George Brett (MLB Hall of Famer) broke one of his toes when he tripped running from the kitchen to the living room… to watch a replay of himself on TV

-Svein Grondalen, a Norwegian International soccer defender, once had to withdraw from a match do to previously colliding with a MOOSE while out jogging; how he managed that, no one knows.

-Sammy Sosa hits the IR (injured reserve). The culprit: a sneeze that threw out his back.

-Talk about getting carried away, Steve Sparks (MLB) dislocated his shoulder while trying to rip a phone book in half at a motivational speaking seminar

Avoid these at all costs:

-Ruptured testicle: poor Patrick Thoresen (NHL) can surely attest to the severity of this one; no explanation needed

-Large boil on groin: golfer David Lynn once finished third at a professional event despite having a medic cut a boil on his groin away after it inflamed and became too painful to bear; he finished the tournament with a gashed groin and a pocket full of money.

-Struck by lightning: Lee Turvino (PGA) claimed that, after being struck by lightning, to avoid this pitfall one should hold up a one-iron because, “Even god can’t hit a one-iron.”; classy indeed.

-Self-inflicted paralysis: Boban Jankovic (Red Star Belgrade, Euro basketball) was so angry with a referee’s call that he slammed his head against the poll of the hoop causing permanent spinal cord damage, which resulted in the rest of his life having to be spent in a wheelchair

Cross-Country teams place 9^th (men’s) and 14^th (women’s) in the 35-team field event

Alastair Brown

This past Saturday, the Lakehead University Cross-Country teams competed at the 24th annual Roy Griak Invitational in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The meet is perennially one of the top collegiate races in North-America and this year was no exception, with thousands of competitors spanning the three divisions.

Nonetheless, the Thunderwolves were up to the challenge, and the men and women collectively recorded one of their best performances at the meet.

First on the clock was the Women’s DIII race, where fourth-year runner Tafline Tong led the Wolves’ charge, completing the six-kilometer course in 24:15, placing her 54th out of 500 competitors.

Joining her in the top 100 are 3rd year athlete, Tess Naroski (62nd–24:22), and second-year runner, Hilary Quirion (95th–24:43).  Rounding out the scorers for Lakehead were third-years, Lisa Alaimo and Kaylie Iserhoff, who placed 114th and 124th respectively.  Their total of 410 points placed them 14th in the 35-team race, which was won by University of Wisconsin-La Crosse who tallied 98 points.

An hour later, the men found themselves out on the line, being led by veteran 5th-year Swedish import, Jonas Holmberg, and homegrown rookie, Andrew Nixon.

Nixon came through in his second collegiate race, placing 15th overall in a time of 26:22 for the eight-kilometer course.  The performance was good enough for second among all fresh-man, yet a tad behind Wisconsin-La Crosse’s Zach Wilhelmy, who won the DIII race in a time of 25:27.

Following Nixon –for the Wolves– were Holmberg and second-year Alastair Brown, who both managed to secure solid top-50 performances.  Holmberg placed 30th in a time of 26:53, and Brown just squeaked in with a 47th place finish with a time of 27:06. Rounding out Lakehead’s top five scorers were 5th-year captain Dave Witiluk and 1st-year Kinesiology student Chris Brown, who placed 126th and 136th respectively.

In all, the top five tallied 323 points, which placed them 9th out of 35 teams, good enough for Lakehead’s first ever top-10 finish at Griak.  UW-La Crosse won the Men’s Maroon DIII title in a dominating fashion with 48 points.

Coach Kip Sigsworth was very proud of the team’s efforts.

“Both teams ran very well. We were a bit banged up heading into this race but the athletes did what they need to do and stepped up to very high level of competition.  We still have a lot of work to do but this is where we hoped to be at this time of the year.  One the men’s side I was very happy with our top three and we need to close up the gap to 4 and 5.  The women actually surprised me a bit, in a good way, by easily exceeding my goal of a top half finish.  I especially thought that Tafline, Tess, and Kaylie had good runs.”

The next race on tap for the Thunderwolves is the Queen’s Invitational three weeks from now in Kingston, Ontario, where Lakehead will race against OUA schools for the first time this year.

A look at some of the wackiest athletes in sports history

Mike St. Jean

Layout & Design Editor

George Morrison- NHL Player

When the NHL expanded from 6 to 12 teams for the 1967-68 hockey season, many players who had been previously forgotten were given the opportunity to pursue their dreams of becoming professional hockey players.

George Morrison was one such hopeful. Morrison, who joined Scotty Bowman’s St. Louis Blues in the 1970-71 season, quickly came to realize that living the Canadian dream was not all it was cracked up to be.

After spending the majority of a long road trip warming the bench, Morrison began to realize that the likelihood of seeing some ice-time was quickly evaporating. After two straight games without seeing as much as a single shift, Morrison found himself at the Los Angeles Forum in his all too familiar position.

Late in the game against the Kings, a hungry Morrison managed to coax an usher into buying him a hotdog with the promise that he would give him his stick when the contest was over. It was at that point that the Blues took a minor penalty, and sure enough, Bowman bellowed for Morrison to make his way onto the ice.

“What to do?” Morrison began. “As I leaped over the boards, I stuffed the hotdog down the cuff of my hockey glove. I didn’t know what else to do with it.”

Seconds later, while Morrison was trapped in his own end, he was hit in front of the net. His hidden snack managed to pop out of his glove and flew towards the net, where the goalie was left trying to turn it aside while the other players attempted to dodge flying condiments.

Needless to say, the already disfavoured Morrison became even less popular with coach Bowman after this incident.

“It was a long time before he played me again,” the player recalled with a grin.

Local landmark worth paying attention to

Jayal Chung

Come one, come all! You should know, Paramount Theatre is screening some great movies of all ages and genres, including The Princess Bride, Kill Bill, The Outsiders, Dirty Dancing, and The Shining to name a few. For the price of $3.50, relax, be nostalgic, bring your friends, and bring your parents. Not only is this old and gorgeous theatre screening films, it’s a space for workshops, live theatre and performing arts, and much more.

This is a ‘revival’ for the Paramount Theatre, which opened back on December 27^th, 1948. The theatre is located on the corner, 24 Court Street South; the theatre shares space with Wiggles ‘N Giggles.

So far, I’ve attended two spectacular performances at the Paramount. The first was a musical ­­– Bounce Productions’ kaleidoscopic, energetic Joseph and The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. When each brother was introduced in “Jacob and Sons,” characters hopped off the black wooden stage, and playfully engaged the audience. By the end of the first act, suspense and thrill pervaded the dancing, running, and jumping of “Go, Go, Go Joseph.”

My second experience at the Paramount was Spencer Hari’s, The Spence Show, who has a unique, yet archetypal Broadway voice.

Hari, a Confederation College film graduate, and a number of his friends put on quite the show this August at the Paramount. Both live performances included local singers, actors, and the infamous band, Amelia.

In October, The Outsiders –based on S.E. Hinton’s book I read in eighth grade – will be screened as part of the Patrick Swayze Tribute Night.

The Paramount Theatre is firmly rooted in the Port Arthur district. To follow events, and keep up on the theatre’s revival, check out the Facebook page and the website http://paramountheatre.ca.

Eating Buccaneers

Festival at Finlandia Hall to screen today’s best films from around the world

Derek Wall

A&E Editor

When it comes to visual art, the art of film is often considered to be fairly unsophisticated. Perhaps that has a great deal to do with the swollen-budgeted –and often American– films being hyped on TV and viewed at Silver City.

Paul Morralee, the chair of the festival organizing committee, believes films offer something more profound to the community.

Morralee has been a video producer since 1991, and was instrumental in starting the organization known as Flashframe, the group responsible for bringing the Bay Street Film Festival into existence.

According to Morralee, the festival offers some very positive things to the city of Thunder Bay. “You get the opportunity to see films from around the world,” commented Morralee, “we have 15 international as well as 10 Canadian filmmakers.”

The Bay Street Film Festival is also dedicated to being an actual festival. “This is a true film festival and not a revue,” stated Morralee, “people will have an opportunity to meet the filmmakers and understand how the films are made and come to understand the thinking of the creators.”

The chance to rub shoulders with the creators of the films is an opportune benefit for students in the film program at Confederation College. Twenty-five of the 35 festival volunteers, in fact, are students, mostly from the college’s film program.

And why is the art of filmmaking so important? “When we make a film it gives us the opportunity to take what we know, collect it on film, reflect it back to the community, and engage in ways of thinking differently,” says Morralee.

Juan Manuel González, a Mexican filmmaker and director of festival selection, Al Fin (Oct. 1, 7pm), will be in town to talk about the interesting filmmaking challenges that face him in his native country. Mexico is in a similar predicament to Canada when it comes to filmmaking. Both Mexico and Canada’s film venues are predominately monopolized by American films when movies made locally go largely unnoticed.

González will be talking to a class at Lakehead University but he will also be giving a talk for the public on Saturday Oct. 3^rd 1pm.

Here in Thunder Bay, we tend to be a bit isolated from other major city centres and we often consider our artistic resources to be limited. What the festival seems intent on sharing is that our isolation doesn’t have to define our artistic limitations. “We are isolated by distance and the lake,” commented Morralee, “but when we show others that we can develop film we show everyone else that we have the skill, drive, and ability to do so.”

A few Bay Street Festival must-sees!

Eating Buccaneers

Bill Keenan

Canada

Comedy

Thursday Oct. 1^st 9pm

Four advertising executives, one client, and a mortally wounded pilot that simply will not die crash land in the wilderness of Northern Canada with nothing but a supply of “Buccaneer Bars” to keep them nourished.

The group is forced to try and rescue themselves but as their supply of Buccaneers begins to run out, their true characters begin to emerge.

A guaranteed crowd pleaser that has been described as “The Office meets Lord Of The Flies.”

Tapologo

Sally and Gabriela Gutiérrez Dewar

South Africa/Spain

Documentary

Saturday Oct. 3^rd 5pm

Excerpt from Tapologo press release:

In Freedom Park, a squatter settlement in South Africa, a network of women, many of them former sex-workers, created a network called Tapologo. They learn to be Home Based Caregivers for their community, transforming degradation into solidarity and squalor into hope.

Catholic bishop Kevin Dowling participates in Tapologo, and raises doubts on the official doctrine of the Catholic Church regarding AIDS and sexuality in the African context.

Myths for Profit: Canada’s Role in Industries of War and Peace

Amy Miller

Canada

Documentary

Friday Oct. 2^nd 9pm

Excerpt from Myths for Profit press release:

Myths for Profit is a dramatic, exposé documentary which explores ‘Canada’s role in Industries of War and Peace’. Through diverse interviews and case studies this documentary unveils the specific interests and profits that are made by certain corporation, individuals and agencies within Canada.

The Canadian government and the military would like us to believe that we are altruistic peacekeepers helping people around the world. But is this accurate? Myths for Profit examines how these misconceptions are maintained and who stands to gain by perpetuating them.

By understanding the systems of power in Canada we can move forward in challenging how they operate and collectively create change.

The full schedule, theatrical trailers, and information regarding the availability of the filmmakers are available at the Bay Street Film Festival webpage: www.shebafilms.com//baystreetfilmfestival/index.html

Adams Rib – Free Music

Derek Wall

A&E Editor

For about 12 years, Adam’s Rib has been working hard to make a niche for themselves in the Canadian music scene, as well as the music scene in Chile, South America.

Band member Derek Lathrop is Chilean-born, and the band played in Chile for the first time earlier this year. The band plans to return later on in 2009.

This well travelled group offers high energy, masterfully crafted rock and roll given an adrenaline shot of Latin music in some tracks. With Dave Buland on bass, Bruce McCarthy on drums, Peter Grant on guitar, and Derek Lathrop on vocals, Adams Rib has created a recording that captures the raw energy of a live show.

The entire album was recorded within one week to avoid over analyzing and mastering. Adam’s Rib considers this album best experienced raw and live.

For that reason, the band has offered the album completely free of charge on their MySpace page, so your money can be better spent attending their concert.

The album is highly energized, some standout tracks being Let Go, Delirium, Canta Maria, and the title track, Free Music.

Free Music is an extremely positive, personal, and invigorating album, and to see the group that produces such music live would be a real treat.

Adam’s Rib will be playing live at The Apollo this Tuesday, the 29^th, at 8pm.